Thursday, May 13, 2010

Right Now

When I can't find the words, I never have to look farther than a song. Matt Wertz got it about right for me this week...

One eye on the clock, and one on the phone.
It's 5:19... I'm feeling alone.
If I could talk to you, I'd want you to know.
I'm holding loose, but ain't letting go.

We both know that I could think myself dizzy. Right now I'm spinning around.
You said "Baby don't worry."
But I just miss you right now.
I said I miss you right now.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I have noticed something. Making the decision to make a change is exciting, exhilerating, energizing. Making changes is...tedious. When we finally identify something that we want to change in our lives- our job, our relationship, our weight, our diet- we can look at it and say, "I'm going to change that!" And it's exciting. Because when we leave our current job or get out of an unhealthy relationship or lose those 10 freakin' pounds and start eating lovely organic fruits and vegetables every day, the quality of our lives will improve exponentially. And it will happen immediately.

So we've made this great empowering decision and we know what we need to change. We may even have a plan; a great diet book, what we're going to do when newly single, the manageable "28 Days to a Bikini Body" workout plan from a magazine, complete with motivating images of a tan, cut, skinny model in bootie shorts, demonstrating squats on the beach. Now with the decision made, the next step is the one that trips many of us up... where do I start?

And it is here, in the job-site browsing, calorie-counting, breaking up that we question our great declaration that it's time for a change. Maybe things are okay the way they are. Maybe I'm making too much out of things. Maybe.

Or maybe we're too comfortable in our routines and too lazy to take the steps to make a positive change. It's hard work finding a new job. Finding a job, a company that's hiring, submitting resumes, going on interviews, talking to the right people, knowing if a company is right for you... all time consuming, often frustrating. We may stay in a relationship too long because the person knows us so well, and who on earth will I bring to Wednesday night bowling league? Who will keep me company on the couch three nights in a row when I just don't have the willpower to get dressed and go out? It will take so long to get to know another person's ins and outs the way I know this one's. And really, going to the gym 6 days a week? I mean, the scenery gets old and that is A LOT of sweaty laundry to add to the mix. And it usually means extra showers too.

THAT my friends, is why we accept the things that hold us back from living our best lives. It is hard work to make changes. It is uncomfortable to sit down and tell someone you care so much about that they are not the person who is going to be your best partner. It is hard to risk hurting someone's feelings. It is hard to put yourself out there as a job candidate and not get the position you wanted. It takes discipline and motivation to change the poor eating habits you've known for so long.

I am 100% guilty of this form of laziness. But really, when you get down to it, change doesn't have to be scary. It's just hard work, and hard work can't kill you, right? Sure, it may eat up some of your free time. It may mean a little less cake and a little more salad. It may mean sending 55 resume emails out. It may mean finally coming up with a time and place to have that 'it-isn't-you, it's-that-you're-not-who/what-I-need/want-you-to-be' conversation. But what do we have to lose?

A relationship that isn't giving us what we need? A position where we can't grow and challenge our full potential? Some weight? Three hours of trash TV on Wednesday nights?

In an age of entitlement and endless possibilities, a little more straightforward hard work and a few less questions are, in my mind, a very good thing.